013: 33 things at 33

It's my birthday! I've been saying I feel old since I was 17 years old. The feelings of oldness stem from the fact that I've been stuffing my life chockful of experiences since that age. I rarely give myself time to fully reflect on an experience, before I tackle the next one.

In the last 12 months, I've often felt dejected and have asked questions like: "Why have I not reached certain goals?" and "Why do I feel so underwhelmed by the things I do achieve?"

In examining these questions, I've realised that a change of perspective was needed.

At 33, I feel younger and more invigorated than ever. Becoming a father 22 months ago and seeing the excitement that my son has for the smaller things in life - his favourite toys are a mop and broom, after all - has definitely contributed to the change I'm feeling. It has also helped that I've started to keep track of things that move and inspire me and made a concerted effort to focus more on gratitude than pure ambition.

Here's a list of 33 things I've been grateful enough to learn over my 33 years. Hopefully by reading them, I'll inspire a bit of hope and excitement for your own new year.

1. Community #1: Inconvenience is the price you pay for community - Dealing with people is really difficult, but immensely rewarding. There's no way around learning to cope with their issues. (Oh, and you have them too, BTW)

2. Community #2: Isolation convinces you that all your ideas are brilliant - this is one of the reasons you shouldn't be alone. You need someone to tell you when you're being an idiot.

3. Community #3: Feedback is gold dust - Nothing great was ever achieved without good, solid feedback. It is true with software and it is true with humans.

4. Improvement #1: It begins with brutal honesty - Read Miyamoto Mushashi's The Book of Five Rings to understand how to go from there.

5. Improvement #2 If you want to change now, track the metric - Build a workout streak, check the hours you spend on your phone and measure your emotional state.

6. Improvement #3: If you want to change in the long run, track the trend - nothing is as addictive as seeing a progression line going up and to the right. Nothing invites action as determinedly as a line that drops steeply.

7. Burning bridges #1: Burn bridges only if you never want to go back - some relationships don't serve you. You don't serve some relationships, too, BTW. You're not the only with access to a box of matches. Sometimes you'll both light the bridge up at the same time.

8. Burning bridges #2: You never know if you'll need to go back and rebuild a burnt bridge - HHH: humility helps heaps.

9. Burning bridges #3: Kindness keeps most bridges whole - There's a saying: "Don't pee in the pool." Harsh opinions about people and their character tend to boomerang.

10. Complexity #1: Distrust anyone who says: "the problem is just..." - Humans can visualise 3 dimensions at a time. 4 if you count time. The dimensionality of most modern problems are way larger than that. It's just lazy thinking you can solve them by fixing one variable with a superficial solution.

11. Complexity #2: There's always a distribution - When was the last time a news report said "here are all the possible perspectives on a problem"? Why? Probably because it is easier not to. Assume complexity and be surprised when it isn't. Doing it other way round leads to much disillusionment.

12. Complexity #3: We. Always. Ignore. Entropy. - Everything you add to your schedule comes with its own admin overhead. And it WILL spiral out of control.

13. Underrated superpower #1: Consistency - Like Chinese water torture, you can wear something down by simply pitching up and being persistent.

14. Underrated superpower #2: Being easy to work with - Don't be the one to steal the energy of others. Just do what you said you would. Easy.

15. Underrated superpower #3: Celebrating the best in others - People love being praised. Someone's enthusiasm lights you up? Dance a jig with them. Someone's service markedly improved your life? Spread the word. Someone's beauty dropped your jaw? Pick it up and tell them.

16. Perfectly rated experience #1: A big concert of a favourite band - Shouting out my lungs to Radioactive with Imagine Dragons and 20,000 other fans melted my femurs.

17. Perfectly rated experience #2: Marrying your best friend - I hit the jackpot with my wife. "Yes, it's true. I'm so happy to be stuck with you."

18. Perfectly rated experience #3: A mountain view - need a new perspective? Get above the clouds and let the mountains teach you some lessons. Best served with fresh coffee and a Lemon Cream biscuit.

19. Overrated things #1: Vehicle debt - if the money's in the car, it's not in an investment vehicle making more money. It's a hill I will die on.

20. Overrated things #2: Begging people to notice you - social rejection sucks and people can be mean. You deserve people who need you unconditionally. Also, notice how they talk about others when they're not there (check this on yourself, too).

21. Overrated things #3: Getting drunk - no judgement, just literal poison.

22. Running tips #1: Give yourself 10 minutes - starting a run is always difficult. Even after 11 years of consistency. After 10 minutes it gets better. After 20 minutes it gets heavenly. The advice comes from Olympic silver-medallist Meb Keflezighi. If it works for an Olympian, you could give it a go.

23. Running tips #2: Strength work makes the dream work - why wouldn't you want to build resilience to injuries?

24. Running tips #3: Pride cometh before the fall - and when you've fallen, don't be so arrogant to think that things can't keep getting much, much worse.

25. Tools #1: Choosing the right tool is part of the job - I've lost years of my life trying to finish DIY projects with incorrect tools, only to wrap things up in minutes after biting the bullet and using the right tool. Same applies to any realm.

26. Tools #2: Sharpen the axe - Abraham Lincoln said "If you give me six hours to cut down the tree, I'll spend four hours sharpening the axe". Lifelong learning keeps you dangerous.

27. Tools #3: There's no place for fear - when working with power tools or kitchen knives, you can hurt yourself when you don't commit to the cut.

28. Process #1: Start with the Why - it's what'll keep you going when the honeymoon phase has passed and you have zero motivation.

29. Process #2: Be curious about the What - treat life like a series of experiments. Try something. Fail miserably. Use the feedback to get better. Don't take it personally.

30. Process #3: The When depends on whole lot of luck and serendipity - sometimes you're not ready for an opportunity. Sometimes the opportunity isn't ready for your contribution. When it does come, don't underestimate the role of Lady Luck.

31. You #1: You're so much better off than you think - even if you're just reading this post, you've got things in place in your life that a medieval peasant would have deemed to be blasphemous witchcraft.

32. You #2: You're never too old to change your mind - letting go can be life-defining. What are you holding on too tightly?

33. You #3: You deserve your own kindness - the thing that I'm trying to remember the most in my new year of life.

There you go. 33 things at 33. I'm blessed beyond measure. And I hope that whoever reads this, may have the same.